How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
