flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
