there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
