airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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