Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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