check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
