bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
