i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
