I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
