If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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