I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
