You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
