So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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