Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
