even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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