i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
