I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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