they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
