Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
