I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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