I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
