the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
