While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
