Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
