All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
