so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
