I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
