Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
