Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
