Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
