stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
