i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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