i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
