ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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