Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
