Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
