Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
