I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
