The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
