i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
