And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
