As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
