he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
