but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
