i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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