I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
