i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
