then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
