So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
