I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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