Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
