I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
