I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
