i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
