trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
